Convincing Her Page 10

  “That’s it, get it out. Get it all out.” Angie rubbed her arm, “Keep coughing. I know it hurts, but you have to get it up. C’mon, let it out.”

  As Tracy’s body convulsed she vomited a large amount of water, gasping for breath. When she could finally breathe she began to cry, grabbing at Pete with one hand while she gripped her stomach with the other. “My leg, I think it’s broken. It hurts.” She rasped.

  “They’re coming honey. We’ll get you fixed up. Just keep breathing for me.” Pete’s body heaved as he let out a sigh, pushing her hair out of her face. “You scared the shit out of me.”

  Angie stood, wiping her brow and smoothing her palms on her dress. “I think I hear the sirens.”

  Unable to resist, Rich drew her into his arms, “You did so good. I’m so proud of you. Thank you.”

  “I’m just glad my dad forced me to take those damn classes every summer.” She trembled against him, “I wasn’t sure if it was going to work.” She whispered.

  “It worked.” He held her tighter, rubbing her back.

  The ambulance finally arrived, and they stepped back to give the crew some room to work. After getting Tracy on a gurney, they loaded her into the back of the vehicle, Pete climbing in with her.

  “What a fucking morning right?” Angie laughed, her body shaking against his chest. Her laughter turned into sobs and she gripped his sides with her hands. “I didn’t think it was going to work.”

  “You were so calm. You ever thought about being an EMT?” He caressed her hair, trying to calm her and offer a distraction.

  She shook her head no, “I don’t know if I could go through that over and over.”

  “She’s your friend, and you still handled it beautifully. I’m sure you could do the same with strangers.” Continuing to soothe her he began walking back to the house. “We can talk about all the other stuff later okay?”

  “Thanks. I can’t – there’s so much you need to know but I can’t do it right now.”

  He’d wait. He’d wait forever for her.

  Over four hours later they finally got a call from Pete. Tracy was going to be okay, but her leg was in fact broken. She landed in a shallow area and shattered her fibula. Rich wasn’t even sure which bone that was, but the word shattered sent a shiver down his spine. They’d all been sitting in the front room in relative silence, waiting.

  As Rich offered the news, both Trevor and Charlie relaxed against the couch, obviously relieved. Angie gave him a little nod and stood, escaping up to her room. Even though he wanted to go after her, he let her be. She’d been through a lot and they still had time to figure things out. He placed a call to his mom, giving her a quick rundown of what had happened. She made him promise to keep her updated and assured him she’d call Pete as soon as they hung up. He kicked back in the recliner, closing his eyes.

  His dreams were chaotic, jumping from the present to that horrible day when he’d found Pete floating in the lake near the boat dock. He woke several times, noticing Charlie and Trevor had disappeared. Though he was tempted to go up to his room, he didn’t want to lay in the bed he shared with Angie. He didn’t want to smell her on his sheets.

  When his eyes opened to find dim light coming in through the windows he stretched, freezing when he realized Angie was there, sitting on the couch watching him. “Hey, how are you?”

  “I’m okay, thanks. How are you?” She crossed and uncrossed her legs, “Why didn’t you go to your room?”

  “It’s not important. Come here.” He reached out, dying to hold to her in his arms.

  She shook her head, “No. We need to talk. I can’t be distracted.”

  He gripped the arms of the chair, “All right.”

  “So, did you ever wonder why I wasn’t going home for the break? Why I never talked about any friends from home?” She twirled her hair around her finger, “How about why I never mention my parents, ever?”

  He frowned, realizing he’d never given it much thought. “I’m sorry I never asked. I’m not sure what I thought. So tell me?”

  “My dad was a total jerk, but that’s to be expected you know? I mean no one really ever says their dad is awesome. Most of my friend’s dads weren’t even around. And before you jump to conclusions, I don’t have daddy issues. Not really.” She heaved a long sigh, “He cheated on my mom, a lot. I mean, like every weekend for years he was with someone else, and not just one someone, several different women. I didn’t blame him, not at all. My mother was so cold, so dispassionate. Not just with my dad.”

  Stiffening in the chair, he leaned forward, “I know how that is. Not the cheating part, at least not that I’m aware of, but I never saw any love in my house either. I don’t blame you for not wanting to go home to that. Why do you think Pete and I are here and not home with our parents?”

  Tears seeped from her right eye, and she quickly wiped them away. “That makes it worse Rich.”

  “Why?”

  “Because I would never want to put you through that, living with someone who doesn’t really love you. That’s what would happen if we were together. If we made a commitment to each other, once you were tired of my body, you’d realize I wasn’t capable of giving you what you needed. You’d cheat on me, or leave me, and neither of us would be better for it.”

  He stood before positioning himself next to her on the couch, “You’re doing it again. Worrying about things that haven’t happened yet, that won’t happen.”

  “How can you be so sure? No one knows the future. But I know myself enough to know that I don’t feel things the way I should. My dad even said it, told me I’d turn out like my mother, a cold bitter woman.” She shuddered at the memory, “I admit I was wrong about you, at least I think I was. You’re not a user, not at all. I am though. I’ve been using you this whole time. I knew we’d end after we left here, and I let you think otherwise. That was wrong, and I’m so sorry.” The tears began to flow again and she looked away.

  Not having any of that, he gripped her chin in his hands, turning her face to his. “I love enough for both of us. I love you Angie. Let me prove you wrong again.”

  Her eyes widened, and she shook her head, “No, don’t say that. You don’t love me. You like what we do together, but you don’t love me. Please don’t love me. I can’t love you back.”

  It hurt, her words hurt more than he thought they could, but he wouldn’t give up. “You’re wrong. You can. Look, my mom has been reaching out to me and Pete, people do change. She’s proving it.”

  “That’s good, I’m glad she’s reaching out to you. My mother will never reach out to me, and at this point I’m okay with that. I don’t even care if they tell me when she dies. We were never close. We never did any of the things that mothers and daughters are supposed to do together. She always wanted to send me off. I went to so many stupid camps. I hated every single one of them. Having friends over? That was out of the question. I won’t ever risk it being like that. I’ll never bring an innocent life into this world.”

  “If I know one thing about you, it’s that you are your own person. You do what you want, you wear what you want, and you say what you want. Why would you think that your mother’s actions would shape who you are? Explain it to me, please.” Even to his own ears he sounded desperate, and though that fact angered him, he pushed on, “I love you. If you don’t want to have kids, that’s okay with me. If you never want to marry me, that’s okay with me. Just let me in your life. Let us figure it out together.”

  “It sounds good now, and I’m so tempted, so fucking tempted.” She laughed bitterly as she wiped her face, “But I won’t risk it. I can’t. I’m not made for what you’re asking for.” She stood, looking down at him, “Like you said, I do what I want. I don’t want this.” Turning, she took a deep breath, “I’m going to stay long enough to make sure Tracy is all right. Then I’ll find my way own way back to school.”

  He watched her as she walked up the stairs, frozen in place. “You’re wrong.” He muttered to the
empty room. She was so wrong. How in the hell did he convince her of it?

  Chapter Ten

  Pete brought Tracy to the lake house two days later. Her parents were on their way back from Spain, having gone on an anniversary trip. They were expected to arrive sometime in the next couple of days to take Tracy home. She was in good spirits, settling on the couch with her leg up, obviously enjoying Pete waiting on her hand and foot. His brother didn’t seem to mind in the slightest, and Rich wondered if Pete also felt something deeper for his girl than he let on.

  Angie had come out of her room when Tracy arrived, giving her a careful hug. They’d had a few tearful moments as Tracy thanked her friend for saving her life. Tracy had whispered something, to which Angie had responded with a curt nod before escaping back to her room. Considering the sympathetic look Tracy shot him, he assumed she knew more about what had gone on than he originally thought. He was glad Angie had talked to someone but annoyed it wasn’t him.

  He escaped outside, wanting to give her some space and honestly, needing some space himself. He was hurt and angry, both at himself and at her. None of it made sense, not even when he tried to put himself in her shoes. His normal means of releasing tension, meaningless sex and alcohol, were simply not an option. There was no way he could be with anyone else so soon after their experiences together, and he knew if he drank things could get ugly.

  After a long run that did nothing to help his sense of unease he flopped down at the water’s edge, skipping rocks across the water. He didn’t turn when he heard footsteps approaching, not sure if he wanted Angie to come to him or not.

  Pete eased onto the ground a few feet away, “How you are doing?”

  Rich shook his head, “I’m fine. How’s Tracy?”

  “She’s doing okay. She’s pretty tough.” He gazed out at the water, “You want to talk about whatever happened when we were gone that morning?”

  “Nah, you have enough to deal with right now.” The last thing Rich wanted to do was get into an emotional conversation with his brother. The guy had enough on his plate.

  “Tracy is out cold, thanks to this.” He pulled a joint out of his pocket, “It helps with the pain, plus she’s so fucking hyper I figured it would help her relax.”

  Rich took a closer look at Pete, noticing his eyes were glassy and red, “You smoke that stuff often?” He tried to make sure there was no judgment in his tone, but he was curious.

  Pete frowned, “The end of senior year it was pretty bad. I was high all the time. Mom knew, dad too probably. She didn’t do anything about it. After I went off to school I stopped.” He gave a low chuckle, “I figured I might need to remember some of the stuff I learned in class.”

  “You always were the smarter one.” Rich laughed, eyeing the joint.

  “What about you? I know you were in a bunch of sports in high school, they did drug testing right?” Pete lit the joint, inhaling deeply and holding the smoke in his lungs, finally releasing a cloud of smoke.

  “Yeah, they piss tested us every once in a while. It never really appealed to me in high school. My first semester of college though? I was high for about a month straight. I still don’t remember all the shit that went down.” At the time he’d just thought it was what you did once you were out on your own, figuring shit out. Now, he wondered if there was something else that he’d been trying to escape from. The first few months of freedom were a little overwhelming. He was lucky he’d never gotten into any trouble.

  “You want this?” Pete extended his hand.

  “I don’t know man. It might not be the best idea considering my current state of mind.” He could admit he was tempted. It would be nice to just forget everything for a little while. “Fuck it, why not.” He took the joint, bringing it to his lips. As his lungs filled he coughed, wondering if this was such a good idea after all. Within a minute time began to slow, and he tried again, able to hold the heavy smoke in a bit longer.

  “Everything will work itself out, one way or the other.” Pete muttered, taking the weed.

  Rich laughed, even though nothing was particularly funny, “You don’t seem so convinced there brother.”

  Pete laughed in return, “Yeah, I guess I’m not.”

  It didn’t take long before the bud was gone. Rich remembered this feeling of weightlessness, the dreamlike quality of everything around him. He took another look around through new eyes, soaking in the beauty of the place. “I’m in love with her.”

  “Yeah, I know. She loves you too. She just doesn’t know it yet.” Pete skipped a rock across the water, “Be patient with her.”

  “I’m trying.” Even now he wanted to go to her, to get her to understand how he felt. He didn’t though, letting the feeling of lethargy course through him. “Do you love Tracy?”

  “I already told you, I don’t know what love is. Maybe, I’m not sure yet.” Pete shook his head quickly as if trying to clear his mind, his shaggy hair falling into his eyes, “It’s too confusing to think about it right now.”

  “Well, in case I don’t get another chance to tell you, I’ve had a good time hanging out with you. I wasn’t lying before when I said I’d try harder to keep in touch.” He meant it too, that thought alone calming him a bit more.

  “Yeah, it’s been good. Maybe we’ll go home for Thanksgiving?”

  “We should do that.” He wasn’t sure what was going to happen between now and then but at least he had something to look forward to. Pulling out his phone he sent a quick text to his mom, letting her know of their plans.

  “I’m going to go check on Tracy and hopefully crash. It feels like I haven’t slept in a week.” Pete stood unsteadily, “You good?”

  “Yeah, I’ll be all right.” What had his high school counselor told him? Fake it until you make it. He could do that.

  Rich woke with a jolt, surprised when he felt pretty well rested. After a quick shower he made his way downstairs, heading into the kitchen to make some coffee. He watched it drip into the pot, pouring himself a large cup when it was done and heading into the front room. He picked up the remote, flipping the television on and scanning through the channels, not finding anything that interested him.

  After about an hour of staring at the screen he was annoyed. Since when did he just sit around and let things happen around him? When he wanted something, he went after it. It had been that way since he tried out for baseball when he was ten years old. Since that time, he’d excelled at anything he put his mind to, why should this be any different?

  Making his way slowly up the stairs, he went over what he was going to say in his head. He’d tell her they were made for each other and that he wasn’t giving up. He’d tell her that he loved everything about her, her looks, her personality, and her intelligence. He’d tell her he would give her time to learn how to love him back, that he wouldn’t pressure her as long as she agreed to be in his life. He could do this, he could make her understand.

  Knocking lightly on her door, he listened for any movement inside. When he heard none, he twisted the knob, expecting to find her sprawled on the bed. When he realized the room was completely empty, the bed made, the curtains pulled, his stomach seized up on him, his body going tense. When had she gone? Who had come to get her? Was she all right? He grabbed his phone, typing a quick text.

  Rich: Where R U

  When he got no response he tried again.

  Rich: R U OK?

  He sat on the bed staring at his phone, waiting for a response. When several minutes had passed, he glanced around the room wondering if she left a note, finding nothing. So this was it. It was over before it had even really begun. Well, fuck.

  The next few days flew by. Tracy’s parent showed up and took her home. She’d given him a quick hug, assuring him that Angie was fine and that everything would work out. But even she didn’t seem convinced. He hung out with Pete, getting some more use out of their jet skis, fishing, talking a bit about their plans. Pete seemed to have his immediate future pretty figured out.
It made Rich proud and jealous all at the same time. He had no idea what he was going to do next. Was he going to go back to the way he was? Having random meaningless sex and acting like a complete douche bag? He hoped not, but what was the alternative? Mooning over some girl who didn’t want him, who hadn’t even told him goodbye? That wasn’t his style.

  He’d considered calling her each night as he climbed into his cold empty bed. But he knew she wouldn’t answer. Even Tyler wasn’t responding to his texts. Who knew what she’d told him had went down.

  He was the last one to leave, locking up the house, staring at the spot on the porch where she used to sit and read, sipping her coffee. On some level he knew the memories would someday be good ones, the small amount of time with her something to look back on and smile about. But now, walking away from this place, back to responsibility, he felt dejected and hopeless. What a horrible way to start his junior year.

  A month passed, then two. He never heard from Angie, and though Tyler and Cameron were friendly with him, they never spoke of her. He wasn’t sure if it was because she’d asked them not to or if they simply knew he couldn’t handle hearing about her moving on like nothing had happened. Chris threw a few parties, and on the outside he was back to his old self, drinking and socializing, but on the inside he was still twisted in knots unsure how to get out of his funk.

  He was getting some much needed studying done when his phone rang. He was surprised when it was Tyler. Though they’d been cordial they hadn’t really hung out or talked much other than when they ran into each other on campus. “What’s up?”

  “I’ve tried to stay out of it, I really have, but what the fuck did you do to her Rich? She’s crying all the time, she won’t eat. Did you hear me? She won’t eat a goddamn thing and she’s wasting away before my eyes and I don’t know what to do to help her.”

  His chest tightened and he let out a shaky breath, “She ended things with me, not the other way around. I had no choice but to let her be.”

  “Whatever, things got tough and you gave up. This thing with her isn’t easy like everything else has been and you can’t handle it.”